Monday, August 24, 2009

Against Medicine?

I find "research" books about the evils of modern medicine absurd. Take for example, this:
Murder by injection: The story of the medical conspiracy against America. This is being read by a seriously intelligent friend of mine, and I have another friend who has not read this (to my knowledge), but who definitely takes these principals to heart.

"But why, Melissa," I can hear you asking (again), "could something like this be funny? People worked hard on this information and you are just skewed by our modern sensibilities." That is a somewhat fair point, I suppose. But let me explain, using a review I've found.

This is a very fine book. Eustace Mullins is an expert researcher. Previous to this book he was the FIRST person to reveal the true nature of the Federal Reserve (which has nothing to do with Federal).
I'm not even going to dignify this with a reply.
In this book he details the history of how control of the medicinal market has been won by the FDA and the AMA (and similar organizations in other Nations), and how the healing of citizens has been put in the hands of the Government rather than in the hands of the citizens themselves.
That does make some sense, actually. I can see how a doctor (not just any old yahoo writing a review or a book!) could have some concerns about this. I mean, there are truly useful treatments in other countries that are not permitted within the US because they haven't passed certain tests here. Certainly. And visa-versa.

However, I'm a teacher, and I therefore deal with the American public. Frankly, most of us are freakin' morons, and I'm not always excluding myself in that group. People do not make their decisions wisely. How many people have you seen this week riding a motorcycle while wearing nothing but a tank top & shorts? How many people got a budget boob job that scars and looks nasty? How many people are there addicted to pain pills? Or how many people stay in an abusive relationship? Or have too much credit card debt? I'm not even saying this is uniquely American because it's not. I'm saying that not everyone is capable of making the best decisions for themselves medically, and many people choose to refrain from making good decisions otherwise. I suppose that IS each individual's choice, or even a family's choice, but that doesn't mean I want someone one a handful of Vicodin driving around town.

This is the sentence that really clinched this for me, though:

Their choices for treatment have been downsized to that of Allopathic medicine, a way of treatment that is relatively new, only a few hundred years old, if at that, as compared to medicine that has been practiced for thousands of years.
(I corrected a spelling error in there because I just couldn't stand to see it). Let me point something out here. Yes, our medicine is flawed and it hasn't been practiced for very long at all. However, our average life span is significantly longer than it was 70 years ago... let alone 200 or 500! Yes, the people who lived past infancy generally lived to be fairly old... unless, of course, we were speaking about a woman! Obviously the generations prior did just fine, but I'd rather pass on the serious risk of DEATH in childbirth for obvious reasons. Just sayin'.

To me, that points out that while there were a lot of things that were right back then, we are clearly improving those things today. Maybe some things will swing back that way; some already are. My point isn't that it's a bad thing if they do, but that I don't have the knowledge to make those medical decisions for myself. I decided to study literature. Millions of people decide to study nothing. They probably aren't going to be able to gather empirical data on this, either.

This book details the methods used by the Rockefellers to control the medicinal market to their advantage. It also guarantees a level of population on! You will be surprised!
Interesting... I would definitely expect that since the world's population is exponentially larger than it has been previously, that probably they're not working to control population. Unless of course they're working to control the population via keeping adequate MODERN care from impoverished countries because some people believe that they don't have as much right to those services for whatever (racist) reason. Because, seriously, there is NO population control in the United States that I can see being of any benefit. In fact, it is generally the most poor and uneducated who have large families (with some notable exceptions, obviously, allowing for religious reasons).

On the other hand, I absolutely believe that the medical industry has an agenda - I mean, honestly, it's more lucrative for them to treat diseases than to cure them. I wish that wasn't the truth, but I'm sure it is in some cases.

But seriously, it all being controlled by the Rockefellers? Granted, I know as much about their current financial state as I do about heart surgery, but to pinpoint one family who hasn't been considered THAT powerful since, like, the Depression (inaccurate, I know) seems a little far-fetched.

And this man actually makes money for publishing this crap. And people actually believe it. Of course, Ann Coulter hasn't been slapped yet, so I guess this is just another example that people will go for anything.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Feasible Bologna

Laura: um... seriously... can you make something up?
Melissa: LOL I basically am. I've got three picture books from the library (there were a whopping 5 adaptations IN the library, so pickings were slim!) and I'm going to write about whichever is easiest to create feasible bologna
that sounds like a really terrible band name. feasible bologna.
maybe a weird al cover band
Laura: my bologna has a first name, it's f-e-a-s-i-b-l-e
Melissa: LOLOLOL
Laura: that took a long time to type, and way too much brain power
Melissa: it took me a minute to figure out how the rhythm would work. f.e.a.-s-i-b-l-e...
and even then it's not THAT good, hehehe
Laura: well, and then i start singing "Yes that's the book for me!" because the last part of it is like Bible
Melissa: BWAHAHA
the holy book of processed meat.
Laura: processed meat... drools
Melissa: *chuckle
Laura: i should not say processed meat whilst looking at concert pics of adam lambert. it seems dirty.
Melissa: it definitely is dirty. yet somehow apropos with all the pleather and makeup.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Dear Johnny Depp,
Have I mentioned how much I love your work? Not on this blog, yet! Well then, allow me to tell you again. You're one of those people who isn't inherently all that attractive, but whose talent makes you absolutely blisteringly hot.
It is because of you that I watch the Pirates movies, which I do like, even though the last one makes me cry and the second one just kinda sucks. It's your perfect erformance as Hunter S. Thompson that had me confused, splitting my gut with laughter, terrified, and hooked on Gonzo journalism within moments.

And now for you, miss Betsey.
I love you. I love your clothing. I've wanted to wear your stuff since I was twelve, back in the dark ages. You have a fantastic quirky attitude and the pieces you design belong in my imagination of all kinds of satistfying Gaiman fantasy novels.
But last year at Fashion Week.... seriously?

These two infatuations of varying depth should never, ever, E.V.E.R. meet.

Avast there, mateys!
Send the poofey one up the crow's nest!

Indulge me for a minute. Well, that is really all I do here, isn't it? But allow me to point out the many things that are wrong with this picture.
  1. That poor boy pirate. Oh dear, he would quickly be "unseamed ... from nave to th' chops / and fixed his head upon our battlements" except of course ships don't really have battlements. At least I don't think they do, it's not like I've been on one or something.
    But seriously. He's skinny, which could be quite helpful, but he negates all ability to show how he could aid the fiercer pirates with that little pucker.
    And I respect anyone who can rock an eye patch without looking ridiculous, but his appears as if he winks obscenely, but a regular wink just wasn't quite enough. OK, that is not true, but thinking that even momentarily gave me the inspiration to liken him to Adam Lambert, and I couldn't pass up that opportunity. 1
    That is most obviously a glitter-fied eye patch.
    Maybe I would like our little pirate man better if he sported that, too?

  2. The pirate's ruffles plus pirate-ism plus BOW-TIE? This is not a good mix of fashion genres, end of story.
  3. Orange shoelaces.
  4. Actually, the poofey dress is kind of adorable... just moderately disturbing when paired with little pirate man. For pity's sake, she's showing her ANKLES! Indecent. Just the kind of floozy who pirates like, I suppose. Just probably not that particular pirate.
  5. Miniature top hat. No.

1. It is entirely too much fun to tease Laura about her obsessions.

A New Trend

Yes, ladies. It's the moment you've been waiting for.

Now, you too, can be a SEXY ZEBRA.

"But Melissa", you say, "how can you possibly give up your secrets for such a beautiful ensemble? What if we wear it to the same parties?

At which time I'll tell you, dearest readers, that I am an incredibly altruistic woman and I am willing to share the secrets to my popularity with the rest of the known world. And, we probably don't attend the same parties.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Horrifuc - (n) a mess so large it is truly terrifying

e.g., "George Bush's administration was nothing but a horrifuc"

(v) The act of turning something into a horrifuc.

e.g., "Well, I horrifuc'd the heck out of that exam!"

Note that conjugation does not add a vowel at the end of "horrifuc". Replace additional vowels with an apostrophe.